This Christmas

This Christmas feels a lot less Christmassy than most. We moved a couple of weeks ago and are still living around boxes. We have a cute little tree up, but the ornaments never made their way on. I have gifts to wrap... somewhere around here, but they may end up in grocery bags for Christmas morning. Who knows. There is a large pile of cards waiting to be addressed, stamped, and mailed that keeps staring me down from the shelf. We haven't made any holiday goodies and still have a list of friends and neighbors for whom we need to conjure up gifts. If it's the thought that counts, I've definitely been thinking about it. It just might not get done.

You see, we have a miracle this season that has somewhat halted the fanfare. We're expecting a baby. We are thrilled, grateful, happy, excited, blessed, and sort of stuck to the couch. That's where I spend most of my free time and my sweet Dean spends his looking after me. Of course, we wouldn't have it any other way. We have each looked forward to this time our whole lives. We get to be parents! And how we love this Little One already! But our joy doesn't seem to be a cure-all for the difficulty of pregnancy. I don't mean to complain. My life struggles are mild compared to many- or even most. But they are mine. And however mild, in the grand scheme of things, my challenges are the teachers I've been assigned to learn from. I'd like to share a simple lesson I'm learning this Christmas.

As I embark on this wonderful life-creating test, I think of mothers- mothers in my own life and all mothers, really. How grateful and humbled I am by the sacrifices of mothers. And I think of His mother. Humble, submissive, meek. Gentle and strong. "Behold the handmaid of the Lord."

I think of her experience with her Firstborn. And I marvel. 

But mostly, when I'm struggling and my meager burden feels heavy, my thoughts are turned to Him.

I think of His unmatched suffering.

Of His unmatched sacrifice.

Paid willingly and with unmatched love.

So that He could give LIFE to all.

This Christmas season, and through this new, trying, beautiful phase of my life, I feel just a little closer to Him. I feel a slightly more keen understanding of His love, a little deeper appreciation for His sacrifice, and an increased desire to serve with Him. 

So, while I won't be eating cookies, going caroling, or curling any ribbons, I will be thinking of Christ. With gratitude for this new life inside of me, the life of a perfect Savior, and the LIFE He offers all of us, I will be thinking of Him. And I'm learning this is Christmas.